A blog about the global fight against bullying. Addresses the different facets of abuse that are happening all around the world. What is it? Why does it happen? And, How can it be stopped?
A year after a Westport teenager, Alye Pollack, posted a silent but powerful online video decrying bullying, she has posted another video saying that she no longer is a target for bullies and urges others who feel bullied to seek help and be confident that "You Are Loved." Reprising the format of her video from March 2011, Alye Pollack, now a 14-year-old high school student, does not speak but holds up a series of hand-lettered messages that say, among other things, to bullying victims, "It Gets Better." That, Pollack writes, is true of her own life, which "has changed SOOOOO much" over the course of a year. "I've made so many new friends and remain friends with the people that have accepted me, BUT it doesn't matter how many friends you have; only how good and supportive and accepting they are," Pollack writes in the video below.
That marks a sharp change from the teen's earlier video, as seen in my previous post "Words Do Hurt,"in which she complained about being targeted by bullies. "I am bullied," she wrote at the time. "Not a day has gone by without one of these words ..." and the next sign listed insults and epithets she said she was called, including, "... Fat, Slut, Freak, Ugly ..." One of the last signs in the March 2011 video that Pollack held in front of her camera read: "HELP" in large capital letters, followed by, "THINK before you say things. IT MIGHT SAVE ..." "LIVES," read the following sign. The video, besides going viral online, brought widespread media attention to Pollack, who was then an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School. She was interviewed about her anti-bullying plea by local and national press. Now, however, in the new video she says that she no longer feels bullied, but she "feels bad for the people who bully me because I know what they are saying IS NOT TRUE." To others who may be targeted by bullies, Pollack urges them to stay strong and not to consider extremes like cutting themselves or ending their lives. "It Gets Better," a smiling Pollack assures them. "Be Yourself ... You are Loved ... You are Special." "Don't run away from your problems," she urges. "Face them head on and stand up for yourself ... Words hurt, but you don't have to let them."
Advice for parents:
Empower your children.
Be assertive.
Call the bullies' parents.
Be involved.
Speak with your child's teachers to make sure there's an attitude that bullying will not be tolerated.
Advice for teachers:
If one child is getting bullied, it needs to be everybody's business.
Instill a value system in the classroom and on the playground that someone who sits silently and watches a bully is as guilty as the bully himself.
Keep a spirit of inclusion and enforce it.
Remember: Words can be just as harmful as physical violence and can cause lasting psychological damage to victims. The old adage, "Sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you!" is simply not true.Never try to handle a bully alone. Always go to a person with authority over the bully such as: a teacher, a principal, a school liaison officer or a parent. No matter what a bully threatens to do, you must tell somebody in a position of authority and your parents.Never suffer in silence. You are not alone. Athough it's hard, you must be strong and remember that this situation will not last forever--life will change.
In recent years, a series of bullying-related suicides in the US and across the globe have drawn attention to the connection between bullying and suicide. Though too many adults still see bullying as "just part of being a kid," it is a serious problem that leads to many negative effects for victims, including suicide.
Below is a video of a teenager named Amanda Todd who committed suicide on Wednesday 10/10/12 in Coquitlam, Canada due to bullying.
ABCcovered the story in an article titled Bullied Teen Leaves Behind Chilling YouTube Video. Reporter--Christina NG-- explained that Amanda Todd, a fifteen year old teenager had posted a story to YouTube the previous month about being cyber-bullied. She was sadly found dead Wednesday night 10/10/12 in Coquitlam, Canada. Authorities believed that she committed suicide.
The website shows Amanda's video which tells a heart-wrenching story of the bullying she was subjected to -- both online and off. In 7th grade, she would go with friends on webcam to meet and talk to new people. At one point, a stranger flattered her into flashing the camera. ABC reports that one year later, a man contacted Amanda on Facebook, threatening to send around the picture of her topless if she did not "put on a show." Terrifyingly, the stranger knew everything about her: her address, school, friends, relatives, and the names of her family members. Soon, her naked photo had been forwarded "to everyone." Amanda developed anxiety, depression, and panic disorders, she wrote, followed by a path into drugs and alcohol.
ABC also reports that she changed schools and found a new group of friends in an effort to leave behind the bullies. Then the man created a Facebook profile, using her uncensored photo as his profile picture. She "cried every night, lost all my friends and respect people had for me again."
Soon after, the bullying started again and she began to cut herself. Amanda also wrote about how she made "a huge mistake" and "hooked up" with an old guy friend, who she really believed liked her. Then a troop of girls, led by the boy's girlfriend, came and beat her up. "Kids filmed it," she writes. "I was all alone and left on the ground."
The video on ABC shows that Todd wrote that she "wanted to die so bad" when her dad found her in a ditch. When she got home she drank bleach in an attempt to kill herself, but was saved after a rushed trip to the hospital.
Amanda's bullying continued despite moving to a new city. Anti-depressants and counseling did little to combat the severe depression. The authorities were called on Oct. 10, 2012 to investigate the sudden death of the teenager.
Advice:
My message to any student being bullied is this. Do not be afraid to speak up. You do not have to face this alone. Just know that there have been many before you that have been bullied. High school is just a small fraction of your life. Allow yourself to move on from this, because there is so much more to your life to live. So many goals to be accomplished. So many dreams to be realized. Life can be painful at times. I’ve dealt with my own heartbreak, my own tragedies, my own mistakes, but always knew that it would get better and it did. Don’t ever give up. Suicide should never be one of your options. Suicide is a final solution to a temporary problem. There have been too many tears shed over coffins that are too small.
Please don’t ever think that you need to kill yourself to escape your pain. Eleanor Roosevelt says it best that "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Therefore, please don’t put your friends, family, and your parents through any pain of loss because their suffering will be everlasting when they lose you. Be strong. Life will get better. You just have to give it a chance.
". . . but words will hurt me !" A 13-year-old girl apparently bullied by her peers had taken her plight to YouTube. She posted a haunting video that describes the alleged torment suffered at a Connecticut middle school.
Alye Pollack, an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School in Westport, Conn., uploaded the video, titled "Words are worse than Sticks and Stones." As of now, the three-minute clip has more than 705,420 views.
Pollack, who does not speak in the homemade video below, is seen holding up signs recounting the alleged bullying endured at the hands of her classmates. The signs read, "I am bullied. Not a day has gone by without one of these words -- 'bitch,' 'whore,' 'fat, 'lesbo,' 'slut,' 'freak,' ugly,' 'weird,' fag." Pollack writes, "I don't cut but I'm close. I'm in therapy/guidance more than my classes." Another sign reads, "Think before you say things. It might save lives."
This is definitely a cry for help. Alye's action was a great way for her not only to ventilate but a way to get help. It's not easy but one must never give up hope for a better future. It's always darkest before the dawn. (I know it sounds like a cliche but it's true). Never stop asking for help. One should always put themself first and if you are not getting the proper help from one school staff member, you should then talk to someone else. Don't stop talking about the problems of bullying because one person may not take you seriously. Keep talking until you find someone that will give you the proper attention needed to make the bullying stop.
