Preventative Actions Against Bullying

The Time Is Now To Take Action

Bullying has only became a hot new topic within the last few years. Maybe no one wanted to face the facts that there was a real issue at hand or maybe some felt that it was part of growing up. In any case, it has been revealed that many deaths of young children and other long term psychological and emotional effects on children are due to bullying. We can not look back and think about what we could've, should've, and would've done. Now, is the time that matters. What we do now—to prevent this abuse from continuing to happen—is the most important thing that matters.

Anti-Bullying

I found this great blog on anti-bullying called Stop Bullies Blog founded by J. Richard Knapp. He is the CEO of Stop Bullies. I must say that I've come across many blogs but this one really caught my eye based on how genuinely personal it seems to be. The bait for me was the post called Sharing Knowledge—with this one read I was hooked. It wasn't about straight forward knowledge or dictated information. It was just a plea. A plea for those who felt that the information on the page was important to just share it. That's it—a post about sharing. Share for those who want to make a change for the children who are getting abused.  I was truly touched. This is not just a plain informational blog. It's more than that—it's personal. 

J. Richard Knapp discusses in his blog a wide variety of topics relating to bullying such as the mental effects of being bullied on children, bully prevention training, ways in creating happy kids, a message for parents to teach vital core values to their kids and more.   

Recently, his post called Critical Bully Prevention Components gave some real sound advice for a prevention plan against bullying. I really thought this plan was a wonderful idea. He puts forth that there are three steps that need to take place in order to really put a stop to bullying:

• The first component is to provide the school and its staff with appropriate training and curriculum to promote both preventative and reactive strategies in bully prevention.  

• The second component targets the community as a whole. This includes strategies that reach the general population, businesses, churches, clubs, police, social services, recreation groups, and more. 

•  The third component is the education of the parent.

In my opinion, I believe that he is totally on target with this prevention plan. In order for any kind of preventative measure to be enacted all three must be addressed and stand on common ground. The school, community, and parents must all unite in response to bullying. One step will not work without the others. If one negates on its view, then all will crumble and the plan will fail. It is with the support of all on this common stand point against bullying that a powerful message will be sent to children—bullying will not be accepted nor tolerated.

Let's Make a Difference

I wanted to add that it's not enough to just tell the children that bullying is not good and it shouldn't be done. One must set good examples at home, work, and school. For example: Children are at school about 8 hours a day for five days every week. Therefore, teachers should set good examples for the kids in school. What I mean is that if a teacher bullies another child or adult, for that matter, and the kids see this—How do you think they will behave? There is an old proverbial saying, "Actions speak louder than words". In order for a powerful message to be taken seriously, we all must behave accordingly and not bully anyone ourselves.

Words Do Hurt

". . . but words will hurt me !"

A 13-year-old girl apparently bullied by her peers had taken her plight to YouTube. She posted a haunting video that describes the alleged torment suffered at a Connecticut middle school.

Alye Pollack, an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School in Westport, Conn., uploaded the video, titled "Words are worse than Sticks and Stones." As of now, the three-minute clip has more than 705,420 views.

Pollack, who does not speak in the homemade video below, is seen holding up signs recounting the alleged bullying endured at the hands of her classmates. The signs read, "I am bullied. Not a day has gone by without one of these words -- 'bitch,' 'whore,' 'fat, 'lesbo,' 'slut,' 'freak,' ugly,' 'weird,' fag." Pollack writes, "I don't cut but I'm close. I'm in therapy/guidance more than my classes." Another sign reads, "Think before you say things. It might save lives."

 



This is definitely a cry for help. Alye's action was a great way for her not only to ventilate but a way to get help. It's not easy but one must never give up hope for a better future. It's always darkest before the dawn. (I know it sounds like a cliche but it's true). Never stop asking for help. One should always put themself first and if you are not getting the proper help from one school staff member, you should then talk to someone else. Don't stop talking about the problems of bullying because one person may not take you seriously. Keep talking until you find someone that will give you the proper attention needed to make the bullying stop.

Bullying From The Political Arena

My posts have been mainly about children and bullying. Today, I would like to talk about something a little different.

 

Do political personal attack ads amount to bullying? It's not OK for kids, but it's allowed in politics? What an example! Maybe we should start at the top and work our way down. When our government leaders are bullying, what do we expect from our children?

While legal action may be called for in many cases of bullying, it will not solve the problem at its root... a root which is in ourselves, our children, our society . . . and even our political process. Already our children look out into their world and see bullying in one arena after another. Actually, they don't only see bullying in every arena, they see adults modeling or teaching bullying. In families they see different forms of domestic violence, from blatant and physical to more subtle and verbal or emotional . . . sometimes even under the guise of joking, good parenting, or "for your own good." In schools they don't only see students bullying each other, but they see adults, teachers, bullying students . . . again often under the guise of teaching, helping, and needed discipline.  On television, our children see bullying in perhaps every genre of show... certainly under the guise of entertainment, certainly under the guise of comedy, and certainly under the guise of news.

The list is unfortunately endless. But at this particular time, we need to look at our politics and see what our politics are teaching our children.

What do our children see when they look out into their world and see bullying by our leaders?


We'd like to believe our leaders and potential leaders are teaching our children about democracy, the right to speak, and freedom. But are we willing to see that our politics are teaching our children about bullying? Our politics are normalizing bullying in our culture. If our candidates for leadership in our government are using bullying as part of their campaigns for office, they are making bullying socially acceptable . . . whether they see it, acknowledge it, or deny it.


Some examples:
1. Political campaigns, past and present, have been carried out against candidates in the form of lying and distortion . . . too many to even begin to list here.

2. Bullying against voters and candidates has occurred in elections over the past decade as voters have been prevented from casting their votes, one way or another. For instance, The Washington Times explained that back in 2008 the New Black Panther Party intimidated voters at an election poll in Pennsylvania. In 2012 they returned again.

3. The government sanctioned bullying of the Tea Party, Patriot groups, 911 groups and other Republican organizations by the I.R.S. The reasoning is holding up their requests for tax exempt status. Not one progressive party was scrutinized or denied their tax exempt status.

4. Investor's Business Daily recently gives the reasoning behind the bullying on Aug. 24. 2011 committed by the I.R.S. (Obama's Administration) to the company Gibson Guitar due to the fact that they support the Republican Party. Why wasn't C.F. Martin & Co also fined for using the same wood as Gibson Guitar? The use of the wood to make the guitars was also used by a competing company called C.F. Martin & Co (Democratic supporter) and yet they only received a letter. Gibson Guitar was fined for hundreds of thousands of dollars and also confiscated the wood.
 
5. In 2010 Obama uses the bullying pulpit and bullies the Supreme Court in the State of the Union Address. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito is seen in the video below shaking his head in defiance and saying "That's not true" in reference to Obama's opinion of the Supreme Court ruling on restricting the lobbyists contributions to candidates running for office.

    

 

 6. More Recently, The New York Times shows a video of President Obama once again using the bullying pulpit to bully the Supreme Court as he deeply expresses how he feels that they made "a mistake" in regards to their ruling on the voting rights act. They struck down two provisions of the the 1965 civil rights bill because it no longer applies in today's world. The south is not the same today as it was back in 1964.   

These previous issues are the latest examples of bullying from the government. All "political" parties from both sides of the aisle have used the bully pulpit. The term "bully pulpit" was coined by Theodore Roosevelt (Republican) which means a terrific platform from which to persuasively advocate an agenda. No matter who uses the pulpit, the issue still remains about bullying. Below are a few instances of our past republican leaders  who have used the bully pulpit, such as:

• During the 20th Century, Theodore Roosevelt used the bully pulpit and gave powerful speeches regarding the railroad regulation and  food inspection.
• In 1981 Ronald Regan used the bully pulpit and persuaded the american public into the acceptance of tax cuts. That could lower deficits and boost the economy. Also, he bullied the public by using scare tactics in order to get an increased military budget by giving speeches warning about communism. Lastly, when Regan made peace with the Soviet Union, the bully pulpit was once again used. For example, he gave a very powerful speech regarding the taking down of the Berlin Wall.

 

• George W. Bush used the bully pulpit for the reform of Social Security back in 2002.  

 

If our leaders in our government are using bullying in the office and are not being stopped, they and those who need to stop them are making bullying socially acceptable. Who are those who need to stop them? We are. We are the adults in our country. It is our responsibility to recognize bullying when it is happening, when it is being normalized, when it is being made socially acceptable . . . even under a guise. It is our responsibility to say 'no' to bullying in whatever form. It is our responsibility to help heal bullying in our country -- individually and communally. It is our responsibility to do that in our own lives, to help our children do that in their lives, and to stand firm in the face of bullying in our country. The challenge is how to do all of that without bullying!

TAKE A STAND

An Anti-Bullying Fundraiser

According to News 12 of the Bronx, yesterday, there was a fundraiser held for the New York Arts Foundation in honor of Amanda Cummings. Tragically, Amanda Cummings’ life ended at the tender age of 15, when she stepped in front of a bus and died last year. It has been found that the endless harassments and other acts of bullying drove this young girl to her death.

                                   Amanda Cummings

                        Anti-bullying Fundraiser



Another victim, Jamie Issac, 17 years old, decided to empower herself and take a stand against bullying. Jamie’s vision is simple. She wants to be the voice for all victims of bullying who do not have a voice. Jamie is a survivor of over 6 years of intense bullying. Jamie helped write and pass the Suffolk County Cyber-Bullying Law and is currently working with Nassau County legislator Kevan Abrahams to help write and pass the same law in Nassau. Jamie is also working with State Senator Jeff Klein on the passing of the NYS Cyber-Bullying Law that will hold a punishment of 15 years in prison if convicted of Cyber-Bullying someone to death. Her courageous effort and determination to get a stricter law passed against bullying is inspiring.


What does the new state law require?

The new state law requires schools to report bullying and cyberbullying to police whether it happens on school grounds or off campus.



When is the law put into effect? 

The state law is effective starting July 1, 2013.

We are definitely taking one big step for humankind. There needs to be an end to all this madness. I see this as being a great first step.

Sticks and Stones

 

 I find myself struggling tremendously with the book Sticks And Stones, written by Emily Bazelon, which has received quite good reviews.

One thing that is quite confusing is the "great equalizing" of bully and bullied. Yes, I imagine many bullies are depressed themselves, and I'm sure many are also suffering from other issues. But the notion that a bully and a bullied child suffer equally is simply wrong. A bullied child learns fear, dreads school, comes to believe that no one can help, and often becomes socially withdrawn. The fact that a bullied child may recover from this (which Bazelon seems to suggest) is nice, but why (in a society where every kid has to win a trophy and every child has to have an equal part in a school play) is protecting children from bullies that one thing that seems to make so many people talk about "equalization?"

Moreover, I found Bazelon's notion that most buillies "grow out of it naturally" is completely wrong. Not sure how many workplaces she's been in, but there are always plenty of grown-up bullies on display. Did they just suddenly decide to become bullies for their 30th or 40th birthday? Probably not -- they probably learned many lessons of intimidation on the playground.

While I was student teaching, I found many cases of bullying and the teacher held meetings with parents of bullies, and 80% of time those parents said one of two things: "My child is not a bully" (no matter how many notes or proof a teacher offered) or, much sadder, "I know he is a bully but I have no control over him." The idea that parents are not involved in how their children grow is bizarre, and unless a parent of a bully steps in to assist in guiding his or her child, school alone simply cannot help.

But the hypothesis that is truly unsettling to me is the idea that children should not be protected from the bullies, so they can develop "problem solving skills." Throughout history, there have always been people who have suggested that the only way to deal with a bully is to actually punch them out in public, but other than beating up your bully, exactly how is a child supposed to "problem solve" a bully away? If parents or schools can't stop the bully, and the bully will not stop himself or herself, how exactly is the bullied child supposed to do it?



 

One thing I do agree with: the idea of "mediation" -- putting the bullied and the bully together to try to talk it out -- is absurb. Again, why is the bullied child forced to carry so much of this burden? Why can't more be done to stop bullying and phase it out of school life?

Bazelon's book is readable and has some interesting insights, but I'm just terribly uncomfortable with some of her research.