How To Stop Kids From Bullying

Bullying is when one child or adolescent taunts, teases, torments or abuses another child in a relentless, unwarranted and unsolicited manner. Being bullied can cause irrevocable harm, and getting the offending party to cease such behavior is a process that takes both time and patience. Understanding the root cause of what prompts a child to act out in such a hurtful and hateful manner is the first step in helping to change the behavior.

Instructions              

1. Make a list of what is considered typical teasing and taunting and what constitutes bullying. Be descriptive in explaining the items on the list and give examples of scenarios where teasing crosses the line to bullying.
2. Sit the child down that has been accused of bullying and talk to her in an open discussion format. Do not use your list of what behaviors encompass bullying just yet. Ask the child open-ended questions: Do you think you are a bully? Why do you say that? Can you give me examples of things you have said or done that are considered bullying? Has anyone ever called you a bully? How does it make you feel to be thought of as a bully? Continue talking to the child to get her personal view on her behavior and whether or not she deems her actions to be acceptable. Pay attention to her body language and choice of words. Note whether the child shows remorse for poor actions or if she talks about incidents with pride.
3. Show the child letters, documents or statements illustrating incidents where the child was the offender in an act of bullying. Read the entire letter or statement to the child and make her sit quietly the entire time. Do not allow the child to interrupt you, and if she does, start over until she has learned control. Allow a moment of silence after reading the incidents and then proceed to discuss each event individually.
4. Ask your child how she feels when she is teased, tormented or harassed. Ask the child how bullying others makes her feel both during the event and afterward. Talk to the child about how bullying is not an acceptable form of behavior and what she would like to change about her behavior. Have the child write words and phrases describing herself. Review the list and talk to the child about what triggers her bullying.
5. Have the child keep a journal. Suggest keeping the journal at home so that others will not see it if the child has low self-esteem issues or has a fear of others perceiving her as weak. Review the journal entries weekly and continue one-on-one sit-down discussions with the child to work through issues and concerns. Praise the child for incidents where she was tempted to bully but opted not to.
6. Have the child talk to an independent party such as a pediatrician, counselor or therapist to express her feelings and learn ways to control her temper and anger. Continue working with the child and listening to her on a regular and routine basis. Continue to praise the child and reward good behavior to show that you appreciate her efforts in making a change.

 

Tips

 

Keep your own journal of issues to discuss with the child and note things that you see or hear that could be cause for concern. Also, do not ignore or overlook your child's bullying without attempting to correct the behavior yourself or seek outside help.

 

 

 

 

The More You Know-- Part 2

Back on Track for More Information
 
A few weeks ago I made a post called The More You Know.  This post focused on the statistics section of School Bullying on Wikipedia. I made revisions to the original page and now I'm back to see if the page on Wikipedia is still the same or has been changed.

Was my revision of the Wiki page changed?
 
Sadly I must say that the Wiki page has been changed. Please see below.

Bullying is a common occurrence in most schools. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately "40% to 80% of school-age children experience bullying at some point during their school careers".^[16] Regardless of the grade level, socioeconomic environment, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, bullying can happen to anyone. However, various studies point out that students from lower socio-economic backgrounds are more bullied than students from higher socio-economic backgrounds.^[17] Most children experience bullying at some point in their academic careers. The following is a list of statistics that illustrate the severity of bullying within classrooms:^[16] 

• 20–40% of bullying victims actually report being bullied

• 70% of middle school and high school students experience bullying in school 

• 7–12% of bullies are habitual and pose a serious threat

•  23% of 9th graders have carried a weapon to school recently^[18]

• 5–15% of students are constantly bullied

• 27% of students are bullied because of their refusal to engage in common sexual practices

• 25% of students encourage bullying if not given proper education and support in anti-bullying techniques^[19]

This was a survey conducted by the NICHD where a results on what student did in a school. "The children were asked to complete a questionnaire during a class period that asked how often they either bullied other students, or were the target of bullying behavior. A total of 10.6 percent of the children replied that they had 'sometimes' bullied other children, a response category defined as 'moderate' bullying. An additional 8.8 percent said they had bullied others once a week or more, defined as 'frequent' bullying. Similarly, 8.5 percent said they had been targets of moderate bullying, and 8.4 percent said they were bullied frequently. Out of all the students, 13 percent said they had engaged in moderate or frequent bullying of others, while 10.6 percent said they had been bullied either moderately or frequently. Some students-6.3 percent-had both bullied others and been bullied themselves. In all, 29 percent of the students who responded to the survey had been involved in some aspect of bullying, either as a bully, as the target of bullying, or both." ^[20] According to Tara Kuther, associate professor of psychology at Western Connecticut State University, "...bullying gets so much more sophisticated and subtle in high school. It's more relational. It becomes more difficult for teens to know when to intervene, whereas with younger kids bullying is more physical and therefore more clear cut".^[19]
Because of the low numbers of students who actually report incidents of bullying, teachers need to have a certain level of awareness that will thwart any potential problems. This awareness starts with understanding bullying. 

I am quite surprised that my revision was actually changed back to its original post. I am not completely sure why it was reverted back but I've rationalized that it's possible that the information that I posted may not have been cited correctly. This is just speculation, for I really don't understand why it was changed. My revision listed chronologically the yearly statistics taken on bullying in schools. This chronological order made it easier for the reader to follow. Also, I've explained that the statistics listed above were not taken on a fair playing ground amongst other schools in the same geographical area. The statistics only concentrate on one school, therefore
providing information that may be viewed as inaccurate. For more information, please see my previous post The More You Know.

Because I feel that the information above can be presented slightly more thoroughly, I am attempting to revise the Statistics section of the "School Bullying" page in Wikipedia once again. Please see below for the revised section: 

Statistics

2000

In 2000 a survey by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire found that 6% of the young people had experienced some kind of harassment such as threats or horrible rumours and 2% suffered from distressing abuse.

2004

ABC News reported on a 2004 survey, in September 2006, of 1,500 students between the grades 4 through 8 which displayed : 

• 42% of kids have been bullied online. One in four have had it happen more than once.

• 35% of kids have been threatened online. About one in five had it happen more than once.

• 21% of kids received harassing e-mails.

• 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than four out of ten say it has happened more than once.

• 58% have not told their parents or an adult about the harassment ocurring to them online. 

 2005

The Youth Internet Safety Survey-2, conducted by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire in 2005, found: 

• 9% of the young people in the survey had experienced some form of harassment. The survey was a nationally representative telephone survey of 1,500 youths between the ages of  10 to 17 years old. 

• One third reported feeling distressed by the incident, with distress being more likely for younger respondents and those who were the victims of aggressive harassment.  

Hinduja and Patchin completed a study in the summer of 2005 of approximately 1,500 internet-using adolescents and found: 

• over one-third of youths reported being victimized online.

•  over 16% of respondents admitted to cyber-bullying others.

While most of the instances of cyber-bullying involved relatively minor behavior it was found: 

• 41% were disrespected.

• 19% were called names. 

• over 12% were physically threatened. 

• about 5% were scared for their safety.  

Notably, fewer than 15% of victims told an adult about the incident.

According to a 2005 survey by the National Children's Home charity and Tesco Mobile of 770 youths between the ages of 11 and 19 found:  

• 20% of respondents revealed that they had been bullied via electronic means. 

• Almost three-quarters (73%) stated that they knew the bully.

•  26% stated that the offender was a stranger.  

• 10% of responders indicated that another person has taken a picture and/or video of them via a cellular phone camera.  

2007

In 2007,  a Stanford University student,Debbie Heimowitz, created a film based on Stanford accredited research called Adina's Deck. She worked for ten weeks in three schools to learn about the problem of cyber-bullying in Northern California. The findings determined that over 60% of students had been cyber-bullied and were victims of cyber-bullying. The film is now being used in classrooms nationwide as it was designed around learning goals pertaining to problems that students had understanding the topic.

Additional research by Hinduja and Patchin in 2007 found that youths who report being victims of cyber-bullying also experience stress that is related to other problematic behaviors such as running away from home, drinking alcohol, or using drugs. The authors acknowledge that both of these studies provide only preliminary information about the nature and consequences of online bullying, due to the methodological challenges associated with an online survey.

2008

In 2008, researchers Sameer Hinduja (Florida Atlantic University) and Justin Patchin (University of Wisconsin- Eau Claire) published a book on cyber-bullying that summarized the current state of cyber-bullying research. (Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying). Their research documents that cyber-bullying instances have been increasing over the last several years. They also report findings from the most recent study of cyber-bullying among middle-school students. Using a random sample of approximately 2000 middle-school students from a large school district in the southern United States they found: 

• about 10% of respondents had been cyber-bullied in the previous 30 days. 

• while over 17% reported being cyber-bullied at least once in their lifetime.   

While these rates are slightly lower than some of the findings from their previous research, Hinduja and Patchin point out that the earlier studies were predominantly conducted among older adolescents and internet samples. That is, older youths use the internet more frequently and are more likely to experience cyber-bullying than younger children. 

2011

The National Crime Prevention Council reported in 2011 that cyber-bullying is a problem that affects almost half of all American teens. 

All information provided above was found on the psychology wiki site. I believe that the revised statistics section provides detailed information of the bullying incidents listed chronologically starting from the year 2000 through 2011. This gives the reader a clear view of the trend in our society. These statistics shows a steady rise of the bullying incidents, whereas the previous wiki did not provide enough data to display this continuous growth throughout the years. Also, the statistics now displayed are not solely based on a single school, rather the statistics are based on a number of schools throughout many years.


Just a note:

We as a community need to come together and send a message to our children that it is not alright to bully and it is not going to be tolerated. Unfortunately not enough is being done to put a halt to this upward trend in our society. We are the adults and it is time that we do something about this.  

Sticks and Stones

 

 I find myself struggling tremendously with the book Sticks And Stones, written by Emily Bazelon, which has received quite good reviews.

One thing that is quite confusing is the "great equalizing" of bully and bullied. Yes, I imagine many bullies are depressed themselves, and I'm sure many are also suffering from other issues. But the notion that a bully and a bullied child suffer equally is simply wrong. A bullied child learns fear, dreads school, comes to believe that no one can help, and often becomes socially withdrawn. The fact that a bullied child may recover from this (which Bazelon seems to suggest) is nice, but why (in a society where every kid has to win a trophy and every child has to have an equal part in a school play) is protecting children from bullies that one thing that seems to make so many people talk about "equalization?"

Moreover, I found Bazelon's notion that most buillies "grow out of it naturally" is completely wrong. Not sure how many workplaces she's been in, but there are always plenty of grown-up bullies on display. Did they just suddenly decide to become bullies for their 30th or 40th birthday? Probably not -- they probably learned many lessons of intimidation on the playground.

While I was student teaching, I found many cases of bullying and the teacher held meetings with parents of bullies, and 80% of time those parents said one of two things: "My child is not a bully" (no matter how many notes or proof a teacher offered) or, much sadder, "I know he is a bully but I have no control over him." The idea that parents are not involved in how their children grow is bizarre, and unless a parent of a bully steps in to assist in guiding his or her child, school alone simply cannot help.

But the hypothesis that is truly unsettling to me is the idea that children should not be protected from the bullies, so they can develop "problem solving skills." Throughout history, there have always been people who have suggested that the only way to deal with a bully is to actually punch them out in public, but other than beating up your bully, exactly how is a child supposed to "problem solve" a bully away? If parents or schools can't stop the bully, and the bully will not stop himself or herself, how exactly is the bullied child supposed to do it?



 

One thing I do agree with: the idea of "mediation" -- putting the bullied and the bully together to try to talk it out -- is absurb. Again, why is the bullied child forced to carry so much of this burden? Why can't more be done to stop bullying and phase it out of school life?

Bazelon's book is readable and has some interesting insights, but I'm just terribly uncomfortable with some of her research.