Life Will Change

It Doesn't Last Forever

A year after a Westport teenager, Alye Pollack, posted a silent but powerful online video decrying bullying, she has posted another video saying that she no longer is a target for bullies and urges others who feel bullied to seek help and be confident that "You Are Loved."

Reprising the format of her video from March 2011, Alye Pollack, now a 14-year-old high school student, does not speak but holds up a series of hand-lettered messages that say, among other things, to bullying victims, "It Gets Better." That, Pollack writes, is true of her own life, which "has changed SOOOOO much" over the course of a year.

"I've made so many new friends and remain friends with the people that have accepted me, BUT it doesn't matter how many friends you have; only how good and supportive and accepting they are," Pollack writes in the video below.

 

 

That marks a sharp change from the teen's earlier video, as seen in my previous post "Words Do Hurt," in which she complained about being targeted by bullies. "I am bullied," she wrote at the time. "Not a day has gone by without one of these words ..." and the next sign listed insults and epithets she said she was called, including, "... Fat, Slut, Freak, Ugly ..."
 
One of the last signs in the March 2011 video that Pollack held in front of her camera read: "HELP" in large capital letters, followed by, "THINK before you say things. IT MIGHT SAVE ..." "LIVES," read the following sign.
 
The video, besides going viral online, brought widespread media attention to Pollack, who was then an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School. She was interviewed about her anti-bullying plea by local and national press. 
 
Now, however, in the new video she says that she no longer feels bullied, but she "feels bad for the people who bully me because I know what they are saying IS NOT TRUE."
 
To others who may be targeted by bullies, Pollack urges them to stay strong and not to consider extremes like cutting themselves or ending their lives. "It Gets Better," a smiling Pollack assures them. "Be Yourself ... You are Loved ... You are Special." "Don't run away from your problems," she urges. "Face them head on and stand up for yourself ... Words hurt, but you don't have to let them."


Advice for parents:

• Empower your children.
• Be assertive.
• Call the bullies' parents.
• Be involved.
• Speak with your child's teachers to make sure there's an attitude that bullying will not be tolerated.

Advice for teachers:

• If one child is getting bullied, it needs to be everybody's business.
• Instill a value system in the classroom and on the playground that someone who sits silently and watches a bully is as guilty as the bully himself.
• Keep a spirit of inclusion and enforce it.

Remember:

Words can be just as harmful as physical violence and can cause lasting psychological damage to victims. The old adage, "Sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you!" is simply not true. Never try to handle a bully alone. Always go to a person with authority over the bully such as: a teacher, a principal, a school liaison officer or a parent. No matter what a bully threatens to do, you must tell somebody in a position of authority and your parents. Never suffer in silence. You are not alone. Athough it's hard, you must be strong and remember that this situation will not last forever--life will change.