How To Stop Kids From Bullying

Bullying is when one child or adolescent taunts, teases, torments or abuses another child in a relentless, unwarranted and unsolicited manner. Being bullied can cause irrevocable harm, and getting the offending party to cease such behavior is a process that takes both time and patience. Understanding the root cause of what prompts a child to act out in such a hurtful and hateful manner is the first step in helping to change the behavior.

Instructions              

1. Make a list of what is considered typical teasing and taunting and what constitutes bullying. Be descriptive in explaining the items on the list and give examples of scenarios where teasing crosses the line to bullying.
2. Sit the child down that has been accused of bullying and talk to her in an open discussion format. Do not use your list of what behaviors encompass bullying just yet. Ask the child open-ended questions: Do you think you are a bully? Why do you say that? Can you give me examples of things you have said or done that are considered bullying? Has anyone ever called you a bully? How does it make you feel to be thought of as a bully? Continue talking to the child to get her personal view on her behavior and whether or not she deems her actions to be acceptable. Pay attention to her body language and choice of words. Note whether the child shows remorse for poor actions or if she talks about incidents with pride.
3. Show the child letters, documents or statements illustrating incidents where the child was the offender in an act of bullying. Read the entire letter or statement to the child and make her sit quietly the entire time. Do not allow the child to interrupt you, and if she does, start over until she has learned control. Allow a moment of silence after reading the incidents and then proceed to discuss each event individually.
4. Ask your child how she feels when she is teased, tormented or harassed. Ask the child how bullying others makes her feel both during the event and afterward. Talk to the child about how bullying is not an acceptable form of behavior and what she would like to change about her behavior. Have the child write words and phrases describing herself. Review the list and talk to the child about what triggers her bullying.
5. Have the child keep a journal. Suggest keeping the journal at home so that others will not see it if the child has low self-esteem issues or has a fear of others perceiving her as weak. Review the journal entries weekly and continue one-on-one sit-down discussions with the child to work through issues and concerns. Praise the child for incidents where she was tempted to bully but opted not to.
6. Have the child talk to an independent party such as a pediatrician, counselor or therapist to express her feelings and learn ways to control her temper and anger. Continue working with the child and listening to her on a regular and routine basis. Continue to praise the child and reward good behavior to show that you appreciate her efforts in making a change.

 

Tips

 

Keep your own journal of issues to discuss with the child and note things that you see or hear that could be cause for concern. Also, do not ignore or overlook your child's bullying without attempting to correct the behavior yourself or seek outside help.