Bullycide

With so many recent cases of suicide being talked about in the media, it leaves many wondering about the new term Bullycide. It is a hybrid of bullying and suicide to explain when someone takes their life as a result of being bullied. 

There are many teens who face being bullied every day whether it be at school, around their neighborhood, in public places or online. Cyberbullying has taken the concept of physical bullying to a whole new level, which is why many researchers believe it is often responsible for cases of bullycide. With many teens taking their lives after being bullied by fellow peers either in school or on the Internet, it leaves parents, teachers and their friends wondering what can be done to prevent bullycide.

What is bullycide?

Bullycide is when a person commits suicide due to the acts of bullying. Children and teens who are bullied live in a constant state of fear and confusion in their lives. Many feel the only way to escape the rumors, insults, verbal abuse and terror is to take their own life. Bullycide is clearly a serious issue. There are several different reasons that ultimately can lead to bullycide including:

• Being constantly physically and emotionally bullied
• Experiencing constant physical and emotional pain
• Having to continually relive an embarrassing moment over and over that is regularly brought up by peers as a method of torment
• Being the victim of bullying by an authority figure like a parent, teacher, coach or other adult
• When the victim of bullying has no other friends to rely on for support or encouragement while being bullied regularly

 

One example of such a case is: Phoebe Prince.

 



15-year-old Phoebe Prince's life was filled with unrelenting torment. Classmates at the Irish immigrant's Massachusetts high school called Prince a "whore" and an "Irish slut," students said. They defaced her school photo with obscene drawings, sent her threatening text messages and whispered—or shouted—insults in school hallways. On Jan. 14, witnesses say, she was taunted by a group of classmates in the library and hit with a can of Red Bull thrown from a moving car. That afternoon, Prince went home and hanged herself with a scarf. 

 

Nine students had been charged with harassment and other bullying-related crimes, spurring national debate about the role of the justice system and the culpability of the school administration. But Prince's case raises another, more elemental question: Why are kids so cruel?

Admiration and dominance

Research into bullying didn't start until the 1970s, when psychologist Dan Olweus began to study the phenomenon in Norwegian schoolchildren.

 

Since then, decades of research have shown that the power differential between bullies and victims is a crucial component of the interaction. Bullies go for admiration, for status, for dominance. Unlike friendly teasing bullying is long-term, unwanted and doesn't occur between social equals. 

 

Despite their aggressive behavior, bullies also want affection. Bullies care about the approval of their own in-group, so they strategically pick victims they know few other classmates will defend. 

 

Based on evidence that has been found, kids who are already socially awkward are more vulnerable to bullies. But there's no one thing that makes a child a target. One day, they just don't like a kid because that kid will wear pink, and the next day they might not like other kids because they're wearing blue, or they're tall, or they're small, or they wear glasses. It's just not really, systemically, that there's some kind of reason or motivation. It's more like a cultural thing.

Bullying prevention:

Because bullying is at the root of the problem when it comes to these ever-too-frequent cases of bullycide, the best way to take preventative measures is to work on stopping children and teens from being bullied. It is important to realize that the big, mean boy on the playground isn't the only type of bully anymore. There are many types of bullies from boys, girls, teens of all ages to adults in authority positions. Cyberbullying also makes it easier for children and teens to bully one another. Bullying has also been found to be a growing trend among recent bullying statistics.

Now, the question comes down to how to prevent bullying among youth to prevent cases of bullycide. One of the best ways to prevent bullying is to have your child journal every single instance of bullying. If the bullying is happening at school or is school-related, make sure to take this journal to a teacher, counselor or even the principal. If the matter is not resolved from there, take the situation to the police. Bullying and hate crimes are against the law. If teachers or administrative members at your school refuse to take action, you can file a complaint or bring charges against the school for negligence. You can also bring criminal charges of bullying to the school.  It is their job to ensure the safety of your child while they are at school. Take the matter to the police and school board to ensure action. This may make the difference between ending the bullying and some child or teen's life as the result of bullycide.

Do not allow your child to become a victim of bullying by encouraging open communication. If your child hides the instances of bullying from you, chances are you may not even notice that they have a problem until it is too late. Make sure your child knows they can come to you for help with anything. Another way to prevent bullycide and from bullying getting too far, make sure your child has a good group of friends. Often, bullies target children and teens who are loners or do not have many friends because they make for easy targets. Having friends can be a great protection for your teen or child against bullying. While cases of bullying and bullycide are growing, there are also more and more schools cracking down to ensure their students are not becoming bullies or becoming victims of bullies. However, parents still play a vital role in protecting their child against cases of bullying and bullycide. Although it may seem hopeless, you must never give up. We have the law on our side and we must continue the good fight.

Bullying and Depression

Bullying and depression are often related. Depression affects both bullies and their victims. Victims of cyber bullying may be at even higher risk for depression. Learn about bullying and depression and how you can help stop bullying.

Researchers have discovered a strong link between bullying and depression. Depression is an illness that is not totally understood, and may have a variety of causes, but it is clear that it can have a relationship to bullying. Both bullies and their victims are more likely to suffer from depression than youth who are not involved in bullying. This connection can be long-lasting; people who are bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression as an adult than children not involved in bullying.

Depression can have a number of serious effects on a person's life. The link between bullying and depression can also extend to other problems, like:

• Low self esteem
• Anxiety
• High rates of school absence
• Physical illness

Teens who commit suicide often suffer from depression. Experts hesitate to say that bullying is a direct cause of suicide, but it may be a factor in a teen's depression.

The relationship between bullying and depression is not limited to face-to-face bullying. The Cyberbullying Research Center found that victims of cyber bullying were more likely to suffer from low self esteem and suicidal thoughts. They suggest further research needs to be done to see if low self esteem is a result of being cyber bullied or if it makes a person more likely to be a target of cyber bullying. A recent study by the US National Institutes of Health, reported by Reuters, found that victims of cyber bullying showed more signs of depression than other bullying victims. This may be because cyber bullying can be more relentless and more frightening or discouraging, especially if the bully is anonymous.

Parents, friends, and other concerned people should be on the lookout for signs of depression in children and teens, especially those who have been bullies or bully victims. Some signs of depression can include:

• Long lasting sadness or irritability, including unexplained outbursts of crying or anger
• Sudden loss of interest in activities the person usually enjoys
• Withdrawal from others
• Changes in sleep patterns, either sleeping a lot or not being able to sleep
• Sudden changes in appetite or eating habits
• Always feeling tired or slow
• Being restless, anxious, or worried
• Not being able to concentrate or think clearly
• Feeling worthless, guilty, helpless, or hopeless
• Aches and pains with no obvious physical cause
• Thinking or talking about death or suicide, such as saying that the world would be better without them or that they wish that they were dead
• Giving away prized possessions or saying good-bye to people can be sign of suicidal thoughts or intentions

If a person is suffering from depression, a visit to a doctor or counselor can start them on the road to recovery. If a person is having suicidal thoughts or has attempted suicide, this should be considered an emergency and the person should get immediate medical help from a doctor, by calling 9-1-1, or by going to the emergency room. There are also local and national suicide hotlines that can help people who are having suicidal thoughts.

Bullying Interventions

With the growing problem of bullying among children and teens, bullying interventions are becoming more and more of a responsibility of parents and teachers. Bullying interventions are necessary to prevent bullying or to stop it before it goes too far.

While it is not always possible to prevent cases of bullying, it is important to know what to do as a parent, a teacher or other school official in order to stop bullying with various types of bullying interventions. Through this tactic, bullies might be able to be successfully put in their place with an end to the bullying. There are a few different steps and ways you can go about preparing bullying interventions. It is best to find a technique that works with different types of bullying, which can range from physical to emotional as well as cyberbullying. According to a study put together by the Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System of the London Family Court Clinic, there are a few different methods for bullying interventions.

First, intervene immediately. Do not overlook a potential bullying situation. It is then important to talk to both the victim and the bully separately. If more than one student is involved, which does happen in many cases of bullying, talk to each one separately. Be prepared for the bully to minimize and deny their actions. By speaking to each person involved separately, you will have the best chance of figuring out the truth of the matter.

Second, remind the bully about the rules established in the school. Or if you are a parent looking to handle the situation, remind them of the rules in your home or in your neighborhood. Bullying is a crime that often occurs with physical violence, slander, and libelous statements that can be made online or spread viciously through rumours. Remind them that by committing these acts, they are susceptible to punishment by the justice system. If this is a first time offense and the results are minimal, make sure the punishment fits the crime. However, if this bully has continually hurt victims, be sure the consequences are much more severe. When talking with the victim, be sure they understand everything possible is being done to ensure a similar instance does not happen again. You want to make sure and gain their trust and confidence. The effects of bullying can be severely detrimental to the victim not only physically but also emotionally. This is why it is important to help them during the process to feel safe and secure again. If you are a parent, be sure to involve the other child (s) parents in the situation to help reach a resolution. If you are a teacher or school administrator, be sure to call both of the parents of the children or teens involved to help reach an understanding and possible resolution. It is important for parents to make sure their children are not taking on the characteristics of bullying. If they are, they need to be stopped before that type of behavior gets out of control. For some children and teens anger management is a serious problem that may need to be addressed in a counseling type setting to help stop the bully from continuing their antics and damage to their peers.

After the punishment has been delivered continuing watching the behavior of the bully. If you are a parent, be sure to keep that child away from your own and help your child or teen learn to avoid bullying. One way to prevent bullying is to help your child develop good self-esteem. Your teen or child doesn't have to be the strongest kid in the class or on the block to avoid bullying, but good, strong self-esteem is a great way to help them know how to handle a potential bullying situation.

Unfortunately bullies target the weak because they know they are an easy target. Do your best to ensure your child is not an easy target. Along with self-esteem, encourage your child to make friends with nice and kind peers. It is important for your child or teen to surround themselves with a positive support group to help remain strong and not the next victim of a bullying attack. As a teacher or administrator, keeping an eye on the bullying situation is the best way to stay on top of it and stop it before it starts.

Stand Up to Bullying

Perched on the edge of the George Washington Bridge, 212 feet above the Hudson River, Tyler Clementi, a newly enrolled freshman at Rutgers University, peered into the abyss that had been his life - and jumped. Though he never self-identified as gay, his roommate, Dharun Ravi, believed him to be. Using his computer, Ravi videotaped a sexual encounter between Tyler and a male lover. He then posted it online, subjecting Tyler to public scrutiny. On that fateful night, September 22, 2010, Tyler jumped to his death, after posting on Facebook that he was sorry he would be committing suicide.



When Dharun Ravi was sentenced—to 30 days in prison—I was hoping to get relief from my obsession with the sad, sad case of the Rutgers freshman who spied on his roommate. But I am still haunted as I read the stories and then the comments, which bleed with hatred and vitriol. Hatred for Dharun. Hatred for Tyler. Hatred for the families. Every aspect of this case and how we are approaching this feels wrong, wrong, wrong.

I have no immediate knowledge of any of the parties involved. But I did know a teenager who committed suicide. Emily went to my high school and my college. Every time I read about Dharun and Tyler, I think about my last conversation with Emily. And every time I think about that conversation, I wish I could press the reset button and say the right things, instead of what were most certainly, the wrong things. I think regrets like this may be one of our collective obsessions with time travel, which plays such a big role in so many works of fiction and film, from Star Trek to Men in Black 3. If we could go back and change something in the past, would the future turn out differently?

Emily was not the victim of any hate crime (as far as I know). She was not bullied (as far as I know). Here’s what I do know. Her parents were Holocaust survivors. She was smart in a quiet, contemplative, not show-offy way. She one of the nicest people I ever knew. She sailed through our competitive high school, the Bronx High School of Science, without seeming to compete at all.

I didn’t know Emily before high school, and we didn’t hang out a lot together even then, but I have a few distinct memories. I remember riding the subway with her. I remember having lost or not being able to obtain a book I needed for social studies. She gave me hers and wouldn’t let me refuse or return it.

I remember talking to her about what we wanted to do when we were older. I wanted to be a writer—always, I said. She wanted to write, too—but more specifically to adapt classics or mythology at a level that people with mental challenges could read. She volunteered with people who were mentally challenged and it bothered her that they would give them childish books that didn’t inspire them. She wanted them to be able to read something wonderful and stimulating at a reading level they could process.

I was always a little humbled in her presence.

When we both got into the same college, I was excited about this new door that was about to open and asked her if she was, too. She said she wasn’t. I was puzzled. And when I looked into her eyes I couldn’t help thinking, She looks trapped. That was my big insight that flitted in my head and flitted away, not to return until after her death. She feels trapped because she can’t justify turning this down. It was an offer she couldn’t’ refuse. But if high school was competitive, this was going to be high school on steroids.

I didn’t see much of Emily at school. It was a big school and I spent a lot of time with my books and my own personal dramas. But this is what I remember. We were approaching finals and she reached out to ask me to join her for lunch in her house dining room (we belonged to different houses). She seemed stressed out about finals. She started telling me she was struggling. And I cut her off to complain about how heartless everyone was and no one cared about anyone and on and on and on. She got quiet and I eventually noticed and tapered off.

I got through my finals of course. I always did. I complained a lot (I always did), but they were fine as usual. Back in school in the fall, almost as an afterthought, I asked about Emily, thinking I would ask her to lunch this time. You haven’t heard? Heard what?, I asked. Emily went under her desk and wouldn’t come out for finals. She wouldn’t take them.They expelled her. Emily ended up in a mental facility. She came home on a weekend pass and she killed herself.
I was in a state of shock. Decades later, I still am.

In the immediate aftermath, my grief overwhelmed me. I tried to find out everything I could about her. This annoyed one girl who had grown up with her. You hardly even knew Emily, she said. Certainly not as well as I did. Which was true. Which also added to my guilt and my grief. Why didn’t I take the time to know her better? Why did I talk so much at that lunch? Why didn’t I listen? Maybe I could have picked up on something that was going so horribly wrong inside her. Maybe I could have shifted the trajectory. Maybe with the right words, or by alerting the right people I could have helped her avert tragedy.

One of the elements of Tyler’s story that pulls at my heart was that he had very few friends. When things hurt—and when you are 18, they hurt a lot—having a friend to throw you a life preserver can make all the difference. Did Dharun’s tweets and the brief use of his webcam over a two-week period push Tyler off the bridge? Even the prosecution didn’t accuse him of causing the suicide. What Tyler’s family seemed most upset by, actually, was that Dharun didn’t take the time to know Tyler or to become his friend. That’s a failure that lies on more than one set of shoulders, although each and every failure adds up.

Which brings me back to my last conversation with Emily. For longer than I care to admit, I blamed myself for complaining so much about school that day, because it may have poured gasoline on the fire. I blamed myself for saying the wrong things instead of the right things. Today, as I replay the scene again, more than anything else, I blame myself for not listening.

In our national discussion about the tragedy of teen suicide, I think collectively too many of us are making the mistake of not listening. We cast blame, we exact punishments and we don’t look in the mirror. It’s Dharun’s fault. It’s the parents’ fault. It’s the school’s fault. Recently, I went back and reread an O’Henry story called “The Guilty Party.” Brilliantly, he contrasted who we give the blame to in our human courts and who really bears responsibility in the celestial scheme of things. Although really, the truth of it is, whenever someone takes his or her life, it’s everyone’s fault.

It is hard to be a teen. It always has been. It always will be. You are not a child. You are not an adult. You are under enormous pressure as you leave home for the first time. You do selfish and stupid things along with the good ones as you try to sort out the complicated business of trying to forge new friendships. You are 18—your frontal lobes are not fully developed, which means you make impulsive, rash decisions. You worry that you will never find people who care for you because of who you really are, you worry that if people know who you really are, they won’t care for you. You worry that you don’t belong, that you will never belong because you’re too fat, or because of the color of your skin, or your religion, your nationality, your sexual orientation.

I don’t have answers about Dharun or Tyler. I am just deeply troubled and disturbed with the answers dripping with hate and blame. Where is the love? Where is the forgiveness? When are we going to start listening and reaching out to everyone’s children?

I wish I could tell Emily that because of her I have become a different kind of writer than I dreamed of back when we talked on that subway train so many years ago. I write about kids a lot. I interview kids a lot. And when I interview them, I listen. I listen as hard as I can. I listen with everything I have in me for what they are saying between their words. I listen for Emily. 







 

Bullied

An Excellent Start to the Series
"Bullied" is a wonderfully written book about a young man, named Seth Moore, who has not been granted the best lot in life. He lives in a trailer, his parents are both unemployed drunks, his skin is covered in acne, and his body is weak. Thanks to this terrific combination of attributes, he has been bullied his entire life. The last three years of high school he has been beat up regularly and verbally abused constantly by his fellow students.

On the first day of his senior year, Seth receives an amulet as a gift from a friend of his father. This amulet gives him the power to change his life. Anything he can envision with his mind and his heart, he can make happen.

As Seth begins to use the amulet to defend himself against the students who have bullied him AND the teachers who have allowed the bullying to continue, he discovers that this new power can be difficult to control. The hate in his own heart could turn him into a bully himself. Furthermore, if the hate gets the best of him, he could accidentally kill someone. And worse yet, the bullies could increase the intensity of their attacks against him instead of backing down.

First of all, I have to give kudos to the cover designer for this book. It is a freakin awesome cover. I don't often read/review Young Adult novels, but I made an exception in this case because the cover had me hooked. Brilliant time to publish this book too, considering bullying is finally being publicly recognized for the problem it is.



 

 

Anybody out there get bullied in school?
I did. I can very clearly remember the insults that were thrown at me from two girls in junior high school on a daily basis. For those of you who were bullied, do you remember the stuff you fantasized would happen to your bullies? I used to fantasize that the girls who bullied me would have all their hair fall out overnight. Seth's amulet gives him the power to do things like that to the kids who bully him.... and trust me, he takes advantage. You will not be able to put this book down, nor will you want to.

But there is a message here too. Because, once we start treating people with hatred, whether we think they deserve it or not, we are letting ourselves become just as bad as they are. No matter how tempting it is to follow the path of revenge, evil only breeds more evil and hate only breeds more hate.

This is a short book and therefore a quick read. There are three books in the series that I know of, so I'm guessing that combined they probably equal one full-length novel. This book ends with a doozie of a cliffhanger, so if you are going to read it, you may as well get the 2nd book, Revenge, at the same time.

Highly recommended for anyone who has ever been bullied and/or anyone who has been a bully. That should include pretty much everyone.

Child Psychiatrist Discusses Kids and Bullying

Dr. Yvonne Torres is a board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist. She recently discussed children and bullying with me.

Please tell us about yourself?

Born and raised in New Orleans in 1947, I was the first board certified child and adolescent psychiatrist to open a private practice in my field anywhere in the history of Arkansas. I have been in solo private practice since July of 1978 and am located in Little Rock, Arkansas. The most important things in my life have and always will be my loving husband who has tolerated me for 38 years and who is the father of our three now adult children.

It has been an incredible experience to have the privilege and pleasure of working extensively with so many children, adolescents, young adults, and their families in both outpatient and inpatient settings over my 32 years of private practice. I have attempted over many years now to understand the concepts and develop the tools necessary to facilitate healing in oneself and in others.

How serious is the issue of bullying among children?

First and foremost, it is important to understand that there are different degrees of bullying among children and adolescents, and adults for that matter. On the benign end of the continuum we have children who on occasion in their life attempted to bully or intimidate others into doing what they might want them to do, but the bullying characteristics have not yet become in any significant way ingrained into the character structure of the child.

On the other end of the continuum we have children and adolescents who have become most severe in their characterological pathology along these lines and will stop at nothing to torment an individual into doing whatever it is they want them to do. Such severity, until proven otherwise, is almost always the result of a young person who has become significantly narcissistic and who exhibits a lack of empathy for the feelings and needs of others.

What is your definition of bullying?

My definition is essentially the same as that found in Webster's New World Dictionary. A bully is simply a person who hurts, frightens, threatens, or tyrannizes those who are viewed as smaller or weaker in some sense than the bully in an attempt to get these individuals to do something that the bully wants them to do or stop doing something that the bully wants them to stop doing.

What steps can parents take to teach their children not to bully others?

There are many different important concepts both psychological and spiritual that are important for parents to teach their children in order for their children to become really good, healthy, wonderful, delightful contributing human beings to society at large. Viewed another way, such children do not grow up to be bullies. It is most important from the time a child is born until he is truly ready to go out into the adult world, for parents to be ever aware of their children's needs and to minister to those needs (physical, emotional/psychological, spiritual) so as to teach them everything that the parents can think of about how to be a good decent caring human being. Children growing up in families where they are neglected emotionally automatically focus their energies in an attempt to get their needs met.

What should parents do if they learn their child is a victim of a bully?

Parents should offer what is always the healing love of their empathy for the suffering that their child has gone through as a result of being the victim of a bully. Children learn from and further appreciate examples that the parents may offer of their own childhood and adolescence and times when they may have been bullied, and how they handled this themselves. It is also at these times that children can be helped to understand why it is important that they themselves not mistreat others because of the feelings that they would cause such others.

Of course, ignoring the bully and making use of various other concepts routinely assist them in getting through the rough times that occur in everyone's life. Children who are acutely aware on a day-to-day basis of how much they are loved and valued by their parents, or whoever may be taking care of them, are typically able to tolerate significant amounts of stress and discomfort without being damaged by such.

In those cases where parental support and suggestions as to how to deal with the bully do not end the bullying, it is routinely necessary for the parent to take some action in order to intervene and end the bullying. If this occurs in a school setting the teachers and the principal need to be notified. If it occurs in a neighborhood, the parents of the bully need to be informed (occasionally the parents may need to seek legal advice as to what can be done in more extreme cases).


Just a note:

I just wanted to thank Dr. Yvonne Torres for her time. She is definitely an inspiration to all. If only we as parents treated our children from birth until adulthood with the same loving and cherishing time and energy as are devoted to thoroughbred animals and marvelous gardens, there would be no bullies growing from these situations and the world would become an incredibly better place as the years go by instead of the world that seems to be struggling as the years go by.

How To Stop Kids From Bullying

Bullying is when one child or adolescent taunts, teases, torments or abuses another child in a relentless, unwarranted and unsolicited manner. Being bullied can cause irrevocable harm, and getting the offending party to cease such behavior is a process that takes both time and patience. Understanding the root cause of what prompts a child to act out in such a hurtful and hateful manner is the first step in helping to change the behavior.

Instructions              

1. Make a list of what is considered typical teasing and taunting and what constitutes bullying. Be descriptive in explaining the items on the list and give examples of scenarios where teasing crosses the line to bullying.
2. Sit the child down that has been accused of bullying and talk to her in an open discussion format. Do not use your list of what behaviors encompass bullying just yet. Ask the child open-ended questions: Do you think you are a bully? Why do you say that? Can you give me examples of things you have said or done that are considered bullying? Has anyone ever called you a bully? How does it make you feel to be thought of as a bully? Continue talking to the child to get her personal view on her behavior and whether or not she deems her actions to be acceptable. Pay attention to her body language and choice of words. Note whether the child shows remorse for poor actions or if she talks about incidents with pride.
3. Show the child letters, documents or statements illustrating incidents where the child was the offender in an act of bullying. Read the entire letter or statement to the child and make her sit quietly the entire time. Do not allow the child to interrupt you, and if she does, start over until she has learned control. Allow a moment of silence after reading the incidents and then proceed to discuss each event individually.
4. Ask your child how she feels when she is teased, tormented or harassed. Ask the child how bullying others makes her feel both during the event and afterward. Talk to the child about how bullying is not an acceptable form of behavior and what she would like to change about her behavior. Have the child write words and phrases describing herself. Review the list and talk to the child about what triggers her bullying.
5. Have the child keep a journal. Suggest keeping the journal at home so that others will not see it if the child has low self-esteem issues or has a fear of others perceiving her as weak. Review the journal entries weekly and continue one-on-one sit-down discussions with the child to work through issues and concerns. Praise the child for incidents where she was tempted to bully but opted not to.
6. Have the child talk to an independent party such as a pediatrician, counselor or therapist to express her feelings and learn ways to control her temper and anger. Continue working with the child and listening to her on a regular and routine basis. Continue to praise the child and reward good behavior to show that you appreciate her efforts in making a change.

 

Tips

 

Keep your own journal of issues to discuss with the child and note things that you see or hear that could be cause for concern. Also, do not ignore or overlook your child's bullying without attempting to correct the behavior yourself or seek outside help.

 

 

 

 

Preventative Actions Against Bullying

The Time Is Now To Take Action

Bullying has only became a hot new topic within the last few years. Maybe no one wanted to face the facts that there was a real issue at hand or maybe some felt that it was part of growing up. In any case, it has been revealed that many deaths of young children and other long term psychological and emotional effects on children are due to bullying. We can not look back and think about what we could've, should've, and would've done. Now, is the time that matters. What we do now—to prevent this abuse from continuing to happen—is the most important thing that matters.

Anti-Bullying

I found this great blog on anti-bullying called Stop Bullies Blog founded by J. Richard Knapp. He is the CEO of Stop Bullies. I must say that I've come across many blogs but this one really caught my eye based on how genuinely personal it seems to be. The bait for me was the post called Sharing Knowledge—with this one read I was hooked. It wasn't about straight forward knowledge or dictated information. It was just a plea. A plea for those who felt that the information on the page was important to just share it. That's it—a post about sharing. Share for those who want to make a change for the children who are getting abused.  I was truly touched. This is not just a plain informational blog. It's more than that—it's personal. 

J. Richard Knapp discusses in his blog a wide variety of topics relating to bullying such as the mental effects of being bullied on children, bully prevention training, ways in creating happy kids, a message for parents to teach vital core values to their kids and more.   

Recently, his post called Critical Bully Prevention Components gave some real sound advice for a prevention plan against bullying. I really thought this plan was a wonderful idea. He puts forth that there are three steps that need to take place in order to really put a stop to bullying:

• The first component is to provide the school and its staff with appropriate training and curriculum to promote both preventative and reactive strategies in bully prevention.  

• The second component targets the community as a whole. This includes strategies that reach the general population, businesses, churches, clubs, police, social services, recreation groups, and more. 

•  The third component is the education of the parent.

In my opinion, I believe that he is totally on target with this prevention plan. In order for any kind of preventative measure to be enacted all three must be addressed and stand on common ground. The school, community, and parents must all unite in response to bullying. One step will not work without the others. If one negates on its view, then all will crumble and the plan will fail. It is with the support of all on this common stand point against bullying that a powerful message will be sent to children—bullying will not be accepted nor tolerated.

Let's Make a Difference

I wanted to add that it's not enough to just tell the children that bullying is not good and it shouldn't be done. One must set good examples at home, work, and school. For example: Children are at school about 8 hours a day for five days every week. Therefore, teachers should set good examples for the kids in school. What I mean is that if a teacher bullies another child or adult, for that matter, and the kids see this—How do you think they will behave? There is an old proverbial saying, "Actions speak louder than words". In order for a powerful message to be taken seriously, we all must behave accordingly and not bully anyone ourselves.

Teachers Who Bully

 

Bullying committed by adults 



Bullying has become a national issue. It often brings to mind school bullying between children, but bullying can involve adults, even bullying teachers. Teachers can sometimes be the bully.

 

Bullying is the act of one person using strength or status to infringe on another person, whether with insults, threats, physical harm, ostracism, or infringing on their boundaries in any way that is not sexually charged. (To clarify, some see sexual harassment as a subset of bullying, but others see them as separate categories.) Although much bullying is peer-to-peer, bullying can be inflicted by an older person on a younger person or vice versa. Although school bullying is commonly taken to refer to students bullying each other, teachers can also be party to school bullying. 

Teachers can be involved in bullying in three ways: as observers, as perpetrators, and as victims. As observers, teachers can help prevent or stop bullying or perpetuate it. This article will deal with bullying in which teachers take part themselves, on one side or the other. 

Bullying Teachers

 

Is this what we really want to teach our kids?

 

The dunce cap, standing in the corner, having one hand whacked with a ruler, having one poor grade announced to the class—all these methods that at one time were a common occurrence in educational settings might now fall under the category of bullying teachers. Bullying teachers can act by using degrading words and treatment, as well as physical punishments. Other school employees besides teachers can bully students, including coaches, custodians, security personnel, and the front office staff—even the principal. 

Bullying is starting to get national attention and be taken more seriously than in days past. But the focus is decidedly on kid-on-kid abuse. While the mean girls, the taunters and tormentors, the physical abusers, and the excluders are very real threats, so too are educators who abuse their power over the very kids they are supposed to protect.
But when teachers verbally and even physically abuse kids, the abuse is often blatant and rarely called what it is—bullying—reinforcing the false notion that only kids, not the grown-ups in charge, are bullies.

Amid mounting data that bullying is on the rise, there’s a glaring absence of statistics on adult school bullies. In part, perhaps, because bullying by a teacher or principal is far more complex to identify, address, and rectify. It’s difficult to know what to make of a teacher who crosses the line from basic discipline to regularly berating, intimidating, humiliating (and even physically abusing) a student—so much so that a child's afraid to be in school.

 

What do you do if the school bully is your child's teacher?

 

First thing you have to do is document, document, document. Write down the date, the time, and exactly what happened. Despite the obvious pain you’re feeling as a parent, it’s crucial to be as reasonable and objective as possible.

If the situation isn't too egregious, meet with the teacher to see if you can find a resolution. If that doesn't work, learn what you can from everyone at school—your child, other kids, parents in the class. Volunteer at school, drive the carpool, keep your ear to the ground, all the while documenting everything you learn. During this fact-finding period, start building a support network of parents—after all, one parent's complaints can easily be waved off, while a group of concerned parents has more chance of being heard.

Parents shouldn't storm the principal’s office right away. Follow the chain of command—starting with a senior teacher or the head of that teacher’s department, then the vice principal, principal, principal’s supervisor, and superintendent. This approach works in your favor for two reasons: One, the closer someone is to the problem, the more likely they’ll be able to take swift, effective action; and two, when you go to the top, one of the first questions will be, 'Who have you talked to about this, and what did they say?' If you can’t answer effectively, you’re likely to be directed back to those you’ve skipped. And always document every bullying incident. If you have documentation for a couple of months, they can’t ignore that. Also, if they try to, I’d say 'I’m going to the newspaper.'

A battle kids can’t fight

When it comes to protecting kids from bully teachers, sadly kids are in a vulnerable position—and ill-equipped to fight the battle on their own and there’s no real silver lining—but there are different routes parents can take. Following certain protocol—like documenting every incident, building a support system, and working up the chain of command—can protect kids from continued trauma at the hands of a bully teacher and save them from the ordeal of leaving a school altogether. But the fight to protect your child from a bully teacher may not (and usually won’t) be easy.
 

 

 

 

 

 

The More You Know-- Part 2

Back on Track for More Information
 
A few weeks ago I made a post called The More You Know.  This post focused on the statistics section of School Bullying on Wikipedia. I made revisions to the original page and now I'm back to see if the page on Wikipedia is still the same or has been changed.

Was my revision of the Wiki page changed?
 
Sadly I must say that the Wiki page has been changed. Please see below.

Bullying is a common occurrence in most schools. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately "40% to 80% of school-age children experience bullying at some point during their school careers".^[16] Regardless of the grade level, socioeconomic environment, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, bullying can happen to anyone. However, various studies point out that students from lower socio-economic backgrounds are more bullied than students from higher socio-economic backgrounds.^[17] Most children experience bullying at some point in their academic careers. The following is a list of statistics that illustrate the severity of bullying within classrooms:^[16] 

• 20–40% of bullying victims actually report being bullied

• 70% of middle school and high school students experience bullying in school 

• 7–12% of bullies are habitual and pose a serious threat

•  23% of 9th graders have carried a weapon to school recently^[18]

• 5–15% of students are constantly bullied

• 27% of students are bullied because of their refusal to engage in common sexual practices

• 25% of students encourage bullying if not given proper education and support in anti-bullying techniques^[19]

This was a survey conducted by the NICHD where a results on what student did in a school. "The children were asked to complete a questionnaire during a class period that asked how often they either bullied other students, or were the target of bullying behavior. A total of 10.6 percent of the children replied that they had 'sometimes' bullied other children, a response category defined as 'moderate' bullying. An additional 8.8 percent said they had bullied others once a week or more, defined as 'frequent' bullying. Similarly, 8.5 percent said they had been targets of moderate bullying, and 8.4 percent said they were bullied frequently. Out of all the students, 13 percent said they had engaged in moderate or frequent bullying of others, while 10.6 percent said they had been bullied either moderately or frequently. Some students-6.3 percent-had both bullied others and been bullied themselves. In all, 29 percent of the students who responded to the survey had been involved in some aspect of bullying, either as a bully, as the target of bullying, or both." ^[20] According to Tara Kuther, associate professor of psychology at Western Connecticut State University, "...bullying gets so much more sophisticated and subtle in high school. It's more relational. It becomes more difficult for teens to know when to intervene, whereas with younger kids bullying is more physical and therefore more clear cut".^[19]
Because of the low numbers of students who actually report incidents of bullying, teachers need to have a certain level of awareness that will thwart any potential problems. This awareness starts with understanding bullying. 

I am quite surprised that my revision was actually changed back to its original post. I am not completely sure why it was reverted back but I've rationalized that it's possible that the information that I posted may not have been cited correctly. This is just speculation, for I really don't understand why it was changed. My revision listed chronologically the yearly statistics taken on bullying in schools. This chronological order made it easier for the reader to follow. Also, I've explained that the statistics listed above were not taken on a fair playing ground amongst other schools in the same geographical area. The statistics only concentrate on one school, therefore
providing information that may be viewed as inaccurate. For more information, please see my previous post The More You Know.

Because I feel that the information above can be presented slightly more thoroughly, I am attempting to revise the Statistics section of the "School Bullying" page in Wikipedia once again. Please see below for the revised section: 

Statistics

2000

In 2000 a survey by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire found that 6% of the young people had experienced some kind of harassment such as threats or horrible rumours and 2% suffered from distressing abuse.

2004

ABC News reported on a 2004 survey, in September 2006, of 1,500 students between the grades 4 through 8 which displayed : 

• 42% of kids have been bullied online. One in four have had it happen more than once.

• 35% of kids have been threatened online. About one in five had it happen more than once.

• 21% of kids received harassing e-mails.

• 58% of kids admit someone has said mean or hurtful things to them online. More than four out of ten say it has happened more than once.

• 58% have not told their parents or an adult about the harassment ocurring to them online. 

 2005

The Youth Internet Safety Survey-2, conducted by the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire in 2005, found: 

• 9% of the young people in the survey had experienced some form of harassment. The survey was a nationally representative telephone survey of 1,500 youths between the ages of  10 to 17 years old. 

• One third reported feeling distressed by the incident, with distress being more likely for younger respondents and those who were the victims of aggressive harassment.  

Hinduja and Patchin completed a study in the summer of 2005 of approximately 1,500 internet-using adolescents and found: 

• over one-third of youths reported being victimized online.

•  over 16% of respondents admitted to cyber-bullying others.

While most of the instances of cyber-bullying involved relatively minor behavior it was found: 

• 41% were disrespected.

• 19% were called names. 

• over 12% were physically threatened. 

• about 5% were scared for their safety.  

Notably, fewer than 15% of victims told an adult about the incident.

According to a 2005 survey by the National Children's Home charity and Tesco Mobile of 770 youths between the ages of 11 and 19 found:  

• 20% of respondents revealed that they had been bullied via electronic means. 

• Almost three-quarters (73%) stated that they knew the bully.

•  26% stated that the offender was a stranger.  

• 10% of responders indicated that another person has taken a picture and/or video of them via a cellular phone camera.  

2007

In 2007,  a Stanford University student,Debbie Heimowitz, created a film based on Stanford accredited research called Adina's Deck. She worked for ten weeks in three schools to learn about the problem of cyber-bullying in Northern California. The findings determined that over 60% of students had been cyber-bullied and were victims of cyber-bullying. The film is now being used in classrooms nationwide as it was designed around learning goals pertaining to problems that students had understanding the topic.

Additional research by Hinduja and Patchin in 2007 found that youths who report being victims of cyber-bullying also experience stress that is related to other problematic behaviors such as running away from home, drinking alcohol, or using drugs. The authors acknowledge that both of these studies provide only preliminary information about the nature and consequences of online bullying, due to the methodological challenges associated with an online survey.

2008

In 2008, researchers Sameer Hinduja (Florida Atlantic University) and Justin Patchin (University of Wisconsin- Eau Claire) published a book on cyber-bullying that summarized the current state of cyber-bullying research. (Bullying Beyond the Schoolyard: Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying). Their research documents that cyber-bullying instances have been increasing over the last several years. They also report findings from the most recent study of cyber-bullying among middle-school students. Using a random sample of approximately 2000 middle-school students from a large school district in the southern United States they found: 

• about 10% of respondents had been cyber-bullied in the previous 30 days. 

• while over 17% reported being cyber-bullied at least once in their lifetime.   

While these rates are slightly lower than some of the findings from their previous research, Hinduja and Patchin point out that the earlier studies were predominantly conducted among older adolescents and internet samples. That is, older youths use the internet more frequently and are more likely to experience cyber-bullying than younger children. 

2011

The National Crime Prevention Council reported in 2011 that cyber-bullying is a problem that affects almost half of all American teens. 

All information provided above was found on the psychology wiki site. I believe that the revised statistics section provides detailed information of the bullying incidents listed chronologically starting from the year 2000 through 2011. This gives the reader a clear view of the trend in our society. These statistics shows a steady rise of the bullying incidents, whereas the previous wiki did not provide enough data to display this continuous growth throughout the years. Also, the statistics now displayed are not solely based on a single school, rather the statistics are based on a number of schools throughout many years.


Just a note:

We as a community need to come together and send a message to our children that it is not alright to bully and it is not going to be tolerated. Unfortunately not enough is being done to put a halt to this upward trend in our society. We are the adults and it is time that we do something about this.